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Future History: Wall Street Wiles

Party people XV by Paulinnaire

Excerpt from the Brainipedia mentograph entry on Wall Street, circa 2020:

It wasn’t until the early years of the 2020s that our pre-singularity hominid ancestors realized they should not allow their best and brightest minds to go into the financial sector. During the Great Re-Regulation, it was decided by the Hive Mind of Plegtron the Greats that anyone working in the financial industry was forbidden from having educational backgrounds in finance, business, economics, physics, and any kind of discipline that included the study of advanced mathematics. Computerized trading was outlawed, and Wall Street “wizards” returned to the use of older technologies such as ticker tape. Because this new trading class did not have the mathematical wherewithal to understand the esoteric demands of such financial products such as derivatives, credit-default swaps, and basic laws of chance, the new version of Wall Street instead traded companies based on simple criteria, such as, “what does the company produce?” and, “is it successful at doing so?” And so, the economy became much more stable and predictable.

Horrible ticker tape-related deaths went way up though.

Alltop loves a bit of derivative humor! Party people XV, a photo by Paulinnaire on Flickr.