NEW YORK (The Skwib) — Despite recent moves to eliminate the use of trans-fats from its fare, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is still addictive.
“Yes, there is still a problem with this so-called ‘food’,” Dr. Finn Gerliken, Director of the Institute for a Widening America (IWA), told The Skwib.
The IWA and other consumer groups have applauded KFC for making the move, even though some of their menu items, such as biscuits still use the deadly fat.
“However, we have run some tests in our labs, and it seems the Colonel is more addictive than ever,” Dr. Gerlicken said.
“And it has double the self-loathing effect if you do succumb to your fortnightly urge to consume their fried chicken. I had four pieces just last night, and I’m still feeling intense shame. Please, stop looking at me,” Dr. Gerlicken said.
An average American eats 4.7 pounds of trans fats a year, and the oil is used as a shortening in baked goods like cookies, crackers and doughnuts, as well as in deep frying. Trans fats increase coronary heart disease by increasing bad cholesterol and decreasing good cholesterol.
KFC was unavailable for comment.