After a hard day of running for your life, escaping a horde of cannibalistic day-traders, or even just trying to rebuild the shards of your previously idyllic life, nothing is more comforting than a nice steaming bowl of chowder. Whether you are cooking over an open flame, or using a bit of gasoline in an old tin can, this recipe is easy to prepare, filling, and will help you mask the despair of life on the edge.

Put a quarter-pound of butter in a stewpan. Add to it 2 tablespoonsful of flour, 1/2 pint of milk. Chop some vegetable finely, and add. Stew together a quarter of an hour. Before it starts to get skungy, beat the yolks of two eggs, add of a pint of cream, and a little pepper and salt to taste.

If butter, flour, vegetables, eggs, cream, salt and pepper are unavailable: replace with cat food. (Mrs. Kibbles Chunks-o-Render works best.)

Thanks to JeffrB for the picture of cat food. Also cooking: humor-blogs.com and alltop. Not to mention these people who are about to take over the world.