Excruciating Album Cover Art — Heino

We’re not sure how Paul Zon got the idea for creating a museum of bad album cover art, but it is brilliant, and hilarious. We encourage you to go visit the online museum (or go to see the live exhibition in Belfast in July). For the moment, The Skwib would like to present (from time to time) samples from the museum with our humble notes:

Heino

We’ll begin with this gem from the Fatherland, Heino’s 1971 album, “Liebe Mutter…” (Full translation: “Dear Mother … a bouquet that never wilts.”) When we first saw this cover, we thought: “so that’s what happens when you create a genetic chimera from the DNA of Norman Bates and Andy Warhol.”

Then we thought: “His agony is gorgeous. We need to be slapped.”

Not that we’re not digging the whole “Sprockets” look, but it kind of creeped us out. The textures of this cover intrigue us. The red roses (a gesture of romantic love, no) are like tiny baby heads screaming their existential agony, and asking, “Mother, why did you cut us and arrange us so tastefully? We must wilt and make the suffering end!”

Plus, apparently this dude likes to sing songs the NAZIs enjoyed. Just sayin’. You can find more disturbing pictures of him here, but just to warn you, he’s kind of morphed from Andy Warhol to Teutonic Roy Orbison. (Actually, he looks a lot like Robert Shaw in “From Russia With Love.” )

And now, we’re emotionally obliterated. It is time to dance!

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