At least one of the reasons. Stephen Harper has an MA in economics, and he has other issues.
You know what gives you a better background than economics? Camp counsellor.
Alltop went to Camp Ha Ha.
Tag Archives: stephen harper
Contempt
As much as I dislike the tendency of our media to focus on the leaders of the political parties, I think in once case it is clearly warranted. That is for Stephen Harper. I can’t remember another PM or leader of a Canadian political party being such a control freak. Harper’s anal-retentive proclivities reach beyond his own party. They affect our public servants, our government services, and they have even prevented the House of Commons from doing its job. His government is the first in the history of parliamentary democracies to be held in Contempt of Parliament.
Contempt is the word. It’s clearly how he feels about us as voters, judging by his actions as a politician and the leader of our country. Here’s a few of the behaviours I object to:
- Bush-style fear tactics
- reliance on negative advertising
- character assassination
- unwillingness to embrace the traditions of parliamentary democracy.
He’s contemptuous of his parliamentary colleagues, of the media, of artists, and as much as he likes to speak to “ordinary Canadians”, he doesn’t seem to be looking out for us. The only thing he seems to really care about is winning a majority. If he were to win one, the contempt would become even more naked.
Let’s show him the feeling is mutual.
Feel free to use the poster (it’s derivative, of course, but I hope the irony makes up for that), and if you want a high-res version to print, you can find it here. CC: Attribution, Noncommercial, No Derivative Works
PM discloses previously hidden agenda
OTTAWA (The Skwib) — In a media conference this morning, Prime Minister Stephen Harper surprised pundits and announced that the next budget would include massive tax breaks and grants the Canadian high-tech and brewing industries.
“We must close the beer-robot gap as quickly as possible,” Harper told the assembled reporters.
When asked why this was in any way important, Harper produced the Japanese brewer Asahi’s new beer-pouring robot, “Mr. Happy Fun Drinking Device”. The robot opened a beer and poured it into a glass.
Harper did not drink the beer, but instead left it on the stage floor, near the front, where The Skwib reporter was sitting.
“It’s vital that Canada maintain a strong presence in the beer-robot industry, indeed, the entire high-tech alcoholic beverage industry,” Harper said. “We’ve also heard of Austrian robots that can mix a good margarita.”
When asked if he didn’t already have enough to worry about, the possibility of his budget not passing, a vote of non-confidence, the fact that he was an uptight control-freak, and so on, Harper said the new tax breaks and grants might actually help with some of the other problems facing the government.
“Yes, there are incentives to make these new beer-robots multifunctional. If anyone in the aerospace industry can make these fly, and patrol the Canadian artic, then we’ll really have something.”
He said that loaded with Canadian beer, this kind of robot would be excellent at deterring the American navy from encroaching on Canadian artic sovereignty.
“A few large-sized Canadian beers should be enough to disrupt most operations on any American sub,” Harper said, adding that it is well-known most American beer is “like having conjugal relations in a canoe.”
Mr. Harper ignored The Skwib when we asked if Mr. Happy Fun Drinking Device had any peanuts to go with the beer.
Alltop loves it some Bud. Originally published in January 2006. Seriously. Crazy, right? Rewritten, but still inspired by: Asahi’s beer-serving robot
6 excellent reasons not to have an opinion outside the "designated speech area"
As you may know, the authorities in Canada have set up special places where citizens may demonstrate, protest, rant, and stand on crates and do some lunatic speechifying.
Finally, Canada embraces the notion of free speech.
Now, it’s limited to a mosquito-infested field in the Muskokas, and a roped off area to the north of Queen’s Park in Toronto (behind the portapotties, underneath the low branches of the maple trees).
But what if you decide to have an opinion outside of these “designated speech areas”? (I notice that they didn’t even call them “free speech areas”, probably because we didn’t want to seem to liberal and free-wheeling to the other G20 nations. Good call.)
Many bad things can happen to you, as outlined in Bill C-1984, following your pepper-spraying, beating and subsequent arrest:
- an excruciating purple nurple-ing from Vic Toews
- you will be forced to watch Bev Oda pack for her next junket
- Jim Prentice will demand that you pull his finger
- have you heard the Good News? Stockwell Day has 10 hours free to tell you all about it.
- John Baird will chew off your leg
- a long and “frank conversation” about “accountability” with Stephen Harper.
Seriously, I’m not making any of this up. It’s right there in the legislation. (And to be fair, it was the Liberal Party who were in control when the bill was passed.) More details about the designated speech areas and the G-meetings here. Alltop is very afraid of anything designated as an “area”.