Women, don’t let your man dissuade you from getting the diamond ring you’ve always wanted! Now there’s a way to get around the inconvenient moral problem of conflict diamonds. Turn to LifeGem, a company that uses super-heated ovens to turn the ashes of your loved one into a blue or yellow diamond. (With a retail value of $2,700 – $20,000 US.)
Of course, you will need the cremated remains of someone to put into the super-heated oven. [Ed. note: obvious joke cut due to its bad taste.] Failing that, you could always buy a Canadian diamond if you don’t have someone to put in said oven.
Bill Maher joke about conflict diamonds, referred to in the title, can be found (roughly) here.