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Breaking News: Man drives stake through grave of war criminal

Slobo the NosferatuA member of the Resistance has done his best to ensure that Slobodan Milosevic does not return from the dead to infect Serbia with a plague of vampires.

Miroslav Milosevic (no relation to the undead) pierced the grave with a three-foot hawthorn pole, roughly where the moldering former Serbian President’s heart would be (if he was only buried three feet deep). He says he performed the ancient Balkan ritual to “spite” Milosevic admirers who have been preparing to celebrate the first anniversary of the autocrat’s “death”.

He was also concerned that Slobo’s blood-hungry spirit might cause Serbia further international embarrassment.

Police did not arrest the Milosevic-era dissident, despite a call from the dissident letting them know he was about to stake the Nosferatu just before he did it. “They responded by telling me to be careful or Milosevic’s hand might get me from the grave,” Miroslav Milosevic said.

“I’m just sorry I didn’t have a chance to do this is twenty years ago,” he told The Skwib.