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Dog Threat Level Meter

Dog vocalizations interpreted.

Condition Tail Wag

cute puppy
Don’t be fooled by the cuteness of this puppy — it might mean trouble. I’ll growl at it just to let it know that I’m watching.

Condition Woof

Holy crap! A husky! My arch-nemesis, and about as close to a wolf as a dog gets. If it comes closer, I’m really going to bark like I mean it!

Code Burglar

Someone’s at the door, and I will now proceed to bark with enough intensity to convince the pants-wetting UPS guy that I WILL tear his throat out.

Sky Monsters!

sky monster, aka, hot air balloon
Jesus wept, it’s a frickin’ sky monster. It’s huge, it’s round, and it reeks of the stench of hell. (And the sound…) I’ll bark at it like I can kill it, but I’m pretty sure it could take me. I’ll try not to let my uncertainty creep into my enraged and terrified vocalizations. Was that a yip? Yes, sorry. Sometimes my fear of these things get in the way of me doing my job!

The Night of Evil (Again)

It seems like at least twice a year Satan lights up the sky with his evil. I will yelp a bit to let you know we should get inside, but there’s not much I can do against the powers of darkness.

Thundering Whimpers!

Even my canine super-bark is powerless, when the Gods themselves are trying to kill us all. Perhaps shaking and whimpering will help appease them.

Alltop is terrified by Alpo. Lightning by Damon Taylor. Balloon by Ecatoncheires. Fireworks by Amani Hassan. Doorbell Darwin Bell. Husky by Paul Moody. Puppy by VickyTH.