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Dr. Tundra enters a bar …

Robot talking with birdDr. Tundra enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender, with great drink-making and conversational algorithms, but no facial or voice-recognition software.

The robot serves him a perfectly prepared Peyote Sling, and then asks him: “What’s your IQ?” Tundra replies “150” and the robot proceeds to make conversation about quantum physics and spirituality, chaos and environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and the sexual proclivities of the common earthworm.

Tundra is impressed.

He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink.

Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink — this time a Viking Fizz — and asks him, “What’s your IQ?” Tundra responds, “about a 100.” Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time about football, hockey, baseball, supermodels, brands of beer, guns, and women’s breasts.

Really impressed, Tundra leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him a Budweiser and asks, “What’s your IQ?”

“Er, 60, I think,” Tundra slurs.

And the robot asks … real slowly…

“So…………… ya gonna vote for the Republicans again?”

Artwork by the incomparable Brian Despain. Alltop doesn’t like the traditional joke structure, but laughs at them anyway. Joke inspired by a stolen email from Dave Duncan, who got it from somewhere else, I’m sure.

Peyote Sling recipe
2 tsp superfine sugar
2 tsp water
1 oz lemon juice
2 oz Scotch whisky
3 dried peyote buttons, powdered
1 twist lemon peel
1 peyote button

In a shaker half-filled with ice cubes, combine the sugar, water, lemon juice, peyote powder and scotch. Shake well. Strain into a highball glass. Garnish with the lemon twist and peyote button.


  1. Oh, that’s classic.

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