AMSTERDAM (The Skwib) — The Netherlands is soon to be the first country in Europe to ban public wearing of crotchless panties.
“Here in Holland we are over-stimulated, and the time for looking at genitals nestled in cozy cotton and silk is over,” Dutch Sex Minister Anders VandenBoomboom told The Skwib yesterday.
“Leather and rubber too! All crotchless panties. And assless chaps!” he added, stepping behind a podium, nervously hiding something.
Critics of the government say the move is only an attempt to distract the media from a proposed ban on the burka, traditional clothing in some Islamic societies, which covers a womanÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s face and body, leaving only a strip for the eyes.
“We are trying to ban the burka too,” VandenBoomboom said, “but it is more difficult because there are freedom of religion issues. The crotchless panty does not have the same protection. In a way, it is kind of the anti-burka.”
This ban makes for some strange bedfellows in the seething political scene of the Netherlands. Civil liberties groups, orthodox Muslims, and the Amsterdam Association of Slutty Entertainers have banded together to fight the ban, who held a news conference early this morning.
Their spokeswoman, the anonymous “Burka Harlot”, appeared wearing traditional Muslim headgear and nothing else EXCEPT a pair of crotchless panties.
The Skwib was unable to concentrate on what she said.