Elections Canada introduces new youth voting strategy

OTTAWA (The Skwib) — Hoping to increase the number of young Canadians voting, Elections Canada has introduced the Crazy Dolores campaign.

“Yes, our research shows that youth are disengaged from the political process, and it doesn’t matter how many cool websites we launch, they will not be influenced by such positive efforts,” Dr. Jennifer Temptress told The Skwib, as she took off her glasses and arched an eyebrow.

Statistics show that young voters are just as likely to be engaged with other alternative political activities as their older peers, but much less likely to connect with the traditional political process.

“So we’ve decided to frighten them into voting,” Temptress told The Skwib, as she licked her lips and smiled.

The Crazy Dolores campaign is designed to scare the crap out of young voters into turning up to the polls.

In addition to the ad campaign showing Crazy Dolores stabbing apathetic youth with a large Elections Canada kitchen knife, there is a guerilla marketing component as well.

“Yes, do you remember coolhunters? Well, we’re doing the same kind of thing,” Temptress said, as she loosened her hair bun, and shook her long, blond hair. “We’ve hired thousands of young women, and have outfitted them with Groucho Glasses — yes the kind with eyebrows — and they will be randomly attacking youth with their knives.”

“They’re fake knives of course, but they will produce a real electric shock and coat victims with fake blood,” Temptress explained as she took off her lab coat.

Then the Dolores will say, “vote or next time it will be a real knife!”

When asked if this new campaign was too extreme, Temptress said, “I don’t think so. Do you?” As she started to unbutton her blouse it was clear the interview was over.

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Predictable rituals | | Original photo by DerrickT