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Excruciating Album Cover Art — Heino

We’re not sure how Paul Zon got the idea for creating a Museum of Bad Album Covers, but it is brilliant, and hilarious. The Skwib would like to present (over the next two weeks, and then from time to time) samples from the museum with our humble notes:

Heino

Heino -- a chimera of Norman Bates and Andy WarholWe’ll begin with this gem from the Fatherland, Heino’s 1971 album, “Liebe Mutter…” (Full translation: “Dear Mother … a bouquet that never wilts.”) When we first saw this cover, we thought: “so that’s what happens when you create a genetic chimera from the DNA of Norman Bates and Andy Warhol.”

Then we thought: “His agony is gorgeous. We need to be slapped.”

Not that we’re not digging the whole “Sprockets” look, but it kind of creeped us out. The textures of this cover intrigue us. The red roses (a gesture of romantic love, no) are like tiny baby heads screaming their existential agony, and asking, “Mother, why did you cut us and arrange us so tastefully? We must wilt and make the suffering end!”

Plus, apparently this dude likes to sing songs the NAZIs enjoyed. Just sayin’. You can find more disturbing pictures of him here, but just to warn you, he’s kind of morphed from Andy Warhol to Teutonic Roy Orbison. (Actually, he looks a lot like Robert Shaw in “From Russia With Love.” )

And now, we’re emotionally obliterated. It is time to dance!

Start the year off right with some satirical fiction …

Books of Mark A. Rayner

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Visit the museum of bad album cover art here. You may also want to check out the Facebook group, shit record covers. Originally published 2007.

13 Comments

  1. […] The Museum of Bad Album Covers: Via The Skwib, though you should not take that acknowledgment as indication that I am grateful to Mark for learning about this site. […]

  2. […] Album covers can become iconic designs that define an era. I’m thinking any Hendrix album cover, GNR’s Appetite For Destruction…things like that. But when album art goes wrong, that’s another story. Thanks to Mark for the link. […]

  3. Quizzling Quizzling

    Das is ein dude?

  4. I’m not religious, but jesus save me from that man creature!

  5. Mark A. Rayner Mark A. Rayner

    He’s much more butch these days.

  6. Heino sunshine when she’s gone…

  7. wtf is this channel

  8. this channel is crazy

  9. PB PB

    […] The Museum of Bad Album Covers: Via The Skwib, though you should not take that acknowledgment as indication that I am grateful to Mark for learning about this site. […]

  10. martin martin

    I just laughed out loud at a comment and then realized I made it myself last year.That can’t be good.

  11. It may be a sign of a) aging, b) too much Intertubes… but hell, you should be able to laugh at your own jokes.

    This does confirm for me that it’s okay to run something again on The Skwib, if it has been in the archives for a couple of years.

  12. I saw that cover a couple of years ago… I’ve been using Heino as an adjective to describe all sorts of disturbing stuff ever since.

    Look up Christian Crusaders -with Al Davis & Lars Kristerz.

    Heino and those round off my top three.

    Ashcroft and Bacon is funny too.

    must stop rambling… stupid short attention spa

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