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Fashionista goes insane, causes protest

Jeremey Oogulak models his new lineNEW YORK — Jeremey Oogulak, the head buyer for Boomingdales, has finally lost all his marbles.

After several years of picking unsuccessful lines for Boomingdales, the flamboyant fashionista has stocked the men’s department with nothing but loincloths, armbands, necklaces and round pill-box hats. (Oogulak is seen in the photo, modeling the look himself.)

“I’m calling it the New Savage line,” Oogulak told The Skwib, “and so far sales have been very good.”

This was a lie. According to the cashier at the men’s department, only one patron — a member of the pop group, Village People Redux — has bought a complete ensemble.

A group of Papua-New Guinean-Americans has gathered near the front doors of the department store, protesting the stereotyping of their native dress, with placards that read: “New Savage Is Old Prejudice”.

Boomingdales officials refused to comment.

Alternate story [some pg-13 language] here.