PARIS (The Skwib) — It has taken them years, but the French people have finally got their revenge for the “cultural Chernobyl” of EuroDisney.
In a video released last week, multiple Disney characters were seen engaging in “simulated” sex acts. (Though shortly after the video was taken, Pierre Lapoutine — who was wearing the Goofy costume — was later seen smoking a cigarette and looking very satisfied.)
“The behavior shown on the video is unacceptable and inexcusable,” Disney said in a statement.
But the behavior is part of a well-orchestrated plot by the Mascottes Pelucheuses Contre L’ImpÃ©rialisme Culturel (Fluffy Mascots Against Cultural Imperialism), who have been planning the outrage against the Disney corporation for some time.
In an interview with The Skwib, their leader, Helen De Tropism, said: “We ‘ave ‘ad it with ze Americans. Next, we fluffy ones are planning a joint exercise with ze Black Beret Squad to attack yet anothair American icon.”
Jerry Lewis was not available for comment.