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How to open a door (and be awesome)

This is a Finnish instructional video from 1979. Click on the red CC if you want the subtitles.

Oh my god, don’t leaving me hanging like that rocking 70s mustache man! How the hell do I look awesome if the door opens towards me?

Now, is it me, or is the rocking 70s mustache man just filled with rage? Did you notice how he made that fist after he’s told us not to be a bad door opener? You can see the creeping insanity in his eyes there. He’s ENRAGED by bad door openers. In fact, I heard he was ordered to do this instructional video by the Finnish courts for beating an old man senseless with his own cane after he was unable to slide effortlessly through the portal.

I would like to see a follow up series of videos explaining how to obsessively wash your hands after you touch a door handle or even worse, a knob. (Shudder.)

Alltop is enraged by sloppy window cracking.

3 Comments

  1. Mike Mike

    God, the intensity! I’m sorry, maybe it’s the three ciders, but this was the funniest thing I’ve seen in the last week. Sven Portsmasher is perfect in the role as Dominating Door Opener. Never again will I stride through a portal – it’s the slide-turn for me!!!

  2. Mike Mike

    P.S. I just found my Movember style too!

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