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Humungous Media to trademark theâ„¢ word theâ„¢

superman stampNew York (The Skwib) — After learning that DC and Marvel Comics were attempting to trademark the term “super-hero”, the media giant Humungous Media quickly moved to trademark (┞¢) the word “the”.

“This is purely a business decision, and Humungous Media will vigorously defend the trademark when we get it,” a confident, D. Incus Pweeb, VP of Corporate Communications and Propaganda told The Skwib.

“We feel this will make it easier for us to take over the other media giants, and in short order, we will then go after all independent media. Can you imagine producing any kind of news or entertainment without the definite article ‘the’? It will be really cool. Let Marvel and DC have super-hero. They’ll be screwed without “the” (trademark pending).”

However, Manky Media, a Yorkshire company that produces a weekly newspaper, is unconcerned.

“Yer, other companies may be jiggered by gob slotch Humungous and their brass-grab, but we don’t need definite article, not at Manky,” Horatio Jeeks, CEO of Manky Media said.

“Worked down at mill, then started Manky, gipping out news. This trademark no reason to ugger mugger.”

The interview left The Skwib muck lathered and mawngy.

Inspired by:
Boing boing — Marvel Comics: stealing our language

Yorkshire to English Translation:

  • brass = money
  • gipping = vomiting
  • gob slotch = greedy
  • jiggered = exhausted
  • manky = rough
  • mawngy = bad tempered
  • muck lathered = sweaty
  • ugger mugger = panic

2 Comments

  1. Damn it. I called dibs on the word “the” in my last blog entry. How much do you think it will cost to use “the superhero” in a sentence? Probably too much. Next, they’ll want to copyright my name so that I owe money every time I sign something.

  2. You could use “a vigilante underwear pervert” and not have to pay anything at all! m.

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