You do not own a snake. You know that. You are awakened by the delicate, excruciating pain of having your arm squeezed by a four-foot python. And then it bites you.
After you fling it off, and get some medical attention, a thought occurs to you: your day can only get better, right?
Right?
You are unsure what is rustling behind the TV, but it’s probably a mouse.
Nope, it’s a venomous South American centipede.
And it says: “hej majn, what are joo looking at?”
Venomous AND psycho-reactive.
Pathetically Endowed Fish Love
Bob the mosquitofish never had much with the ladies. His tiny thing was of no interest to them. They much preferred the whale-like yang of Jeremy the Bahamian mosquitofish. This was both bad and good news.
Bad news: Bob didn’t get much of a chance to pass along his tiny thing DNA.
Good news: Much less likely to be eaten because Jeremy was slowed down by his whale-like yang.