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mark a. rayner Posts

Pissing on Duchamps

Marcel Duchamp’s “Fountain,” the factory-made urinal that according to the New York Times is “considered the cornerstone of conceptual art,” got hammered this week by…

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Carnivalia Week

Thanks to a number of Carnivals this week, including the Carnival of Comedy, the Conservative Cat’s funny stuff, and the Friday Ark, which is kind…

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Alternate History Friday: Joan of Arc Girds Herself

Joan of Arc imageShe looked around her cell again, and realized that she was not going to be rescued, nor ransomed by the King. So, the question was: how far was she willing to take it?

When the Voices began, Joan had been just a girl. They told her they were Saints — St. Michael, St. Catherine, and St. Margaret — and they had been quite specific about what they wanted her to do. They wanted her to drive the English out of France and bring the dauphin to Rheims, where the French coronated their kings. (She had always been somewhat suspicious that St. Margaret, a saint favored by the hated English, had asked her to do this.)

But she did what they asked. It wasn’t easy for a farm girl from Lorraine to lead an army in the 1400s — Hades, just getting to the army had been a major battle in itself. But back in those days, Joan had been a real believer. The Voices didn’t brook any disagreement. Even when she was shot with an arrow relieving the Siege of Orléans, she’d been unwavering.

She led the French to victory, liberating Rheims, and her Dauphin — that spotted weasel — became King Louis VII.

But really, the turning point for her had been the Battle of Jargeau; while climbing a ladder during an assault, a stone projectile had split on her helmet. It didn’t kill her, but it did drive out the Voices.

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