fbpx Skip to content

Once upon on a pretty blue planet

Photo of pretty sunsetGla’k T’ung was never fond of humans, but at the same time, he thought it was a damned shame that they were almost extinct.

Of course, Gla’k didn’t really like the flavor of ANY hominid, so he never had an investment in the arguments about how many should be harvested off the third planet from the system’s star — the “Pretty Blue Planet with Tasty Terrors” as they once called it in the Humanliner advertisements.

Part of it was true. The humans were terrifying — a very warlike species.

Gla’k had been on the first expedition to survey the rich planet — a seemingly boundless wealth of life and prestigious protein that ran around on two legs. (Okay, mostly they sat on simple technology they called “couches”, but they were capable of bipedal locomotion, just like Gla’k’s own species, the Thringians.)

But once the human defences had been suppressed, it had been easy to start harvesting them. Most of them resided in vast banks — cities, they were called and they were teeming colonies of succulent h. sapiens on the hop. But within a decade, the populations there were depleted, and the Thringian Authority called for a moratorium. But Humanliner continued trawling the less-populated parts of the planet, where there was no ban.

And then the population crashed completely. Almost all of them were gone. Certainly not enough remained to make for a commercially viable humanery. And Thringian palates had become so used to human, that there wasn’t a market for it as a delicacy.

Gla’k T’ung sort of missed the scary hominds, not because he liked a nice slab of h. sapiens on the barbecue, but damnit, without them, the landmasses of that pretty blue planet were as dead as the oceans.

Inspired by:
‘Critical danger’ warning on fish | Photo by StarMama


  1. “mostly they sat on simple technology they called “couches””

    just as effective as arse, but a kinder gentler skwibee

  2. Yes, feeling generous and kind with the start of the new year. Not to worry, a week of election coverage will soon get my dander up. m.

  3. MB MB

    >without them, the landmasses of that pretty blue planet were as dead as the oceans.
    I loved this… Just perfect to read, for the New year (and always).

  4. Thanks MB! I don’t always have a last line in mind when I start a piece, but in this case, I knew where it was headed, which is a happy thing. (Unlike the subject of the story.) m.

  5. Carnival of the Vanities #173

    Welcome to the second Carnival of the Vanities of 2006, and the second since the CoTV is under new management with HarshlyMellow. Check out last week’s Carnival for all the bloggy goodness, and to read Zeuswood’s philosophy about the Carnival

  6. Wednesday

    The Right Place: Sunspot Activity Causes Brief Interruption of Karl Rove’s “Mind-Ray” – Democrats Claim Rare Moment of Sanity Don Surber: Pirates, Man Your Capitol! ROFASix: Dogs Attack Gator – Graphic Photo! TMH’s Bacon Bits: Top Ten (Profound) N…

Comments are closed.