Professor Quippy: Sex Cue Ocular Protection Equipment

New research has led me to devise a pair of glasses that gentlemen with ring fingers longer than their index fingers (go ahead, I’ll wait while you gents check) may want to purchase.

According to a BBC report, scientists found that “catching sight of a pretty woman really is enough to throw a man’s decision-making skills into disarray.”

I knew it!

And it appears that men with higher levels of testosterone (the index vs ring finger check indicates an elevated level), are even more susceptible to the deleterious effects of having pretty women around while they make critical decisions. Actually, be fair, any decision.

Of course, this is research from the head-slapping, duh! school, and something that women have known (and dare I say, exploited) for a long, long time.

Rather than suggest some kind of troglodytian return to the bad old days when men and women were segregated in the work place, so this effect does not ruin (already suspect) male decision-making abilities, I have instituted my own line of research and created a prototype of the Sex Cue Ocular Protection Equipment or SCOPE (patent pending).

Essentially, the device looks like a pair of stylish glasses (such as my own), but actually contain an array of sensors that detect the wearer’s testosterone levels, and which can evaluate the attractiveness of any female humans the wearer is currently viewing. If the SCOPE determines a sex cue is likely, then the filter kicks in and through a number of ingenious effects, reduces the impairment.

Some of my research assistants wanted to call them Reverse Beer Goggles, but this is a false analogy.

Study quoted:
Sex cues ruin men’s decisiveness