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Professor Quippy: The airhead virtues of dirty hippy hair

Professor QuippyAll you long-haired hippy with greasy locks are a step ahead of the well-coifed when it comes to ozone pollution.

According to a new study by Lakshmi Pandrangi and Glenn Morrison from the University of Missouri in Rolla, on average, unwashed hair absorbed seven times the amount of ozone that washed hair did. Ground-level ozone causes breathing problems that can even affect your lifespan. The scientists say there is something about the hair oil that reacts with the ozone.

Of course, the researchers suggest a better solution is to reduce the amount of ozone pollution — especially indoors. What I want to know is what happens if you leave your bald pate unblemished by the wash cloth.

No word yet on what complicating effect doobie-smoke may have on the protective abilities of disgusting dreads.

Details about this barbershop biology are at The New Scientist, and other, more suspect experiments are taking place here.


  1. It is possible to have clean hair without stripping its oil. Shampoo strips your hair of its protective oil, which is why you have to use conditioner after you shampoo. It is serving as a artificial hair oil, but it does not last very long.

    You Can make your own hair cleaning product at home that does not strip your hair. This experiment does not even require an adult. http://community.livejournal.com/no_poo

  2. Ha, wait until I tell all my anarchist, dread-sporting, hippy friends!

    They are going to love it. Then they will have yet another thing to try to make me feel guilty about.

    Like my monster truck, chainsaw and dune buggy. I am singlehandedly responsible for the mass killing of daffodils in Norway, you know.

    Maybe I won’t tell them, I can’t take much more guilt!! 🙁

  3. Wow, 3000baud, I had no idea. Interesting link.

    And Offendedblogger, our should I say “Daffodil-killer”, you should come clean. (Pun intended.) m.

  4. don don


    Now my barber is going to have to increase his fees to cover hazardous disposal costs. And what will we do with all that hair? You can’t burn it because that will just release the ozone back into the atmosphere.

    I see 55 gallon drums of hair being shoved into a mountain in Nevada and evacuations as a result of massive hair spills on the nation’s highways.

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