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Professor Quippy: The Kiss Will Tell

Professor QuippyNew research confirms what I, Professor Quippy, have always suspected. I do not kiss well.

Is my mouth too open, or not open enough? Perhaps it is my rough, thrusting tongue that is the turn off? I’ve been told that my stylish mustache may cause the ladies to flee in hysterics. (Can’t blame them really, especially after a particularly pungent and sticky cheese.)

New research from George Gallup at the State University of New York, Albany, US, shows that “66 percent of women reported on occasion finding themselves attracted to someone, only to lose interest after kissing them for the first time.”

Ah-ha! Scientific proof that the first kiss will tell.

There is one other nugget of information that you gents will want to know: kissing is not necessarily going to end a fight. Sure, 70 percent of you think it will, but far fewer women thought that was the case.

Now, I’m going to shave this bad boy off.