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Professor Quippy: What, there's no carrot?

Professor Quippy: no carrot?This is somewhat distasteful news on the erectile dysfunction front:

Singapore’s Society for Men’s Health and a pharmaceutical firm are proposing a four-point scale for erectile dysfunction, allowing men to rate their own hardness with four categories: cucumber, unpeeled banana, peeled banana and tofu (bean curd).

My question is this: how fresh is that cucumber, and is it an English cucumber, Chinese or — God forbid — a gherkin?

Luckily, this veggie-fruit inspired scale has yet to be adopted by any (reputable) medical body, though I suspect the folks at veggielovers.com are excited by this news.

More gory details here.