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Professor Quippy: When shrinkage becomes a psychosis

Professor QuippyYou will recall the episode of Seinfeld where George embarrasses himself trying to correct a misperception someone else has about him … wait, I’d better be a little more specific: I mean the one where Jerry’s girlfriend sees George naked right after he’s been for a swim in cold water.

Yes, he had “shrinkage”. Cold temperatures cause this perfectly natural genital attenuation in men. (Prompting Elaine to say: “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.”)

Unfortunately, this normal “frightened turtle” behaviour can cause a serious mental condition called Genital Retraction Syndrome. Sometimes known as Koro, the victims of this are convinced their genitals are disappearing into their bodies. Apparently, it can be contagious, starting “penis panics”, such as the Great Tallywhacker Terror in Singapore (1967). It took a media blackout and a barge of anti-anxiety medication to contain the situation.

Researchers are concerned that email attacks are causing a similar problem in men who receive a high concentration of spam with subject lines such as: “your partner will worship you for it” and “Oprah recommends this to all women.”

Further study:
Penis Panic (scroll down)

One Comment

  1. […] GJR Stevenson at Rants and Slants wonders How does the world know about my tiny penis? We didn’t want to be the ones to tell you, but your wife has a blog about it: histinytallywhacker.blogspot.com. Or perhaps you’re just suffering from Koro. As a side note, this post has a high irony factor. Read the Google Ads on the page, and you’ll see why. […]

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