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Scientists create green babies

Green, glowing babiesTAIWAN (The Skwib) — Not content with the breakthrough in creating fluorescent pigs, scientists in Taiwan have produced glow-in-the-dark babies.

“Unlike pigs, babies are only green on surface — much easier to create than green-all-through pigs,” Principal Investigator (PI) Wo Mian, told The Skwib.

The team of geneticists say they are especially pleased that they think the babies will be able to cause themselves to glow, just like a firefly.

“Yes, we add jellyfish and firefly genetic material, so babies glow when they want,” Mian said.

Mian and the other researchers are all part of the Department of Messing About with Stuff Best Left Alone at the National Taiwan University.

To create them, DNA from jellyfish and fireflies was added to about 265 human embryos which were implanted in eight different women. Three women became pregnant and two male babies were born.

The researchers hope that as they grow into maturity, the two will become sexually promiscuous and engender an entire race of glow-in-the-dark humans.

“Think of it,” Mian said, “never again will mister pee on seat in dark and upset wife!”

These books will make you green in the gills (from laughter)!

Books of Mark A. Rayner

Amazon  Barnes & Noble ChaptersIndigo Smashwords

I’m busy working on another book, so this is another piece from the archives, circa 2006. Definitely make sure you check out the comments on this one. The real story: Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs. Thanks to solarider for the babies. 

14 Comments

  1. hi, how can u do that to babies? Honestly? Like are they gonna saty that color for the rest of there lives?If so can u imagen how bad they are gonna get made fun og in school? No one should be green unless they are old enough to tell u the wanna be green…… thank you

  2. Elizabeth Elizabeth

    How dare you??? Your turning innocent babies green! What If they grow up and get married and then for the rest of their life they have to keep it a secret from their partner that they can turn green so the person they got married to doesnt thik that they are a freek! what if something goes wrong and then they are constantly green? Can you imaginse having to explain to everybody why they are all of the sudden glowig green? i also want to know who ade the parents of the green babies? who lets scientists turn their babies green? and if they dont have parents like they are orphans or something then that makes you seem even more sick and twisted because yiu are taking little babies who dont even have any parents and making their life more miserable!

  3. kara kara

    HOW DARE YOU!!!!! YOU TURN INNOCENT CHILDREN GREEN JUST SO YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!! YOU WANT A WHOLE RACE OF GLOWING PEOPLE? HONESTLY, YOU ARE SOOOOOO SICK!!!!!

  4. Karabeth Karabeth

    HOW DARE YOU?! Starting a new super race from an all-male gene pool is a GAY SUPERSIN!!!

    I NEED MORE INTERROBANGS TO FULLY MAKE MY POINT?!?!

  5. HOW DARE YOU CREATE A NEW MASTER RACE WITHOUT ME. How many times have I told you Mark, and you can claim it wasn’t you all you like. But I know you were there. If you’re going to be screwing with the human genome, I want to be there!

  6. Having green babies may seem appealing, but it’s only a matter of time before things go hideously wrong and they turn evil.

  7. “Interrobang”. Funny.

    I agree — evil is inevitable.

  8. How dare you not turn more ungreen babies green. What a horror! Making the existing green babies breed is obscene. Are they even producing sperm yet? What if they turn out gay? We can’t rely on these starter babies to produce a whole generation of green babies. That’s just silly!

    Stop being so fucking lazy, scientists, and get of your asses and make us more green babies.

  9. David David

    I’m usually not at all interested in babies but I would love to have one of those green babies. I would be the first person on my block to get one and everyone else would be so jealous – They would be green with envy…hehe

  10. ha, green babies? what an innovative idea. Are they eco babies?

  11. bob dylan bob dylan

    you guys do realize that this article is obviously fake. look that the university department if you dont believe me.

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