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Thag sleep on it!

three cavemen thinking deep thoughts
Three members of the Thunka Grunka Clan, thinking deep thoughts at the gathering

It had finally happened. No, the Thunka Grunka Clan was not about to finally get rid of that walking meat stick, the shaman Weasel-Scratch-Face Brother. It was not nearly such good news.

His ex-mate, Onga, had finally got on the shaman’s nerves.

Onga had left Thag for the shaman nearly a season ago, and in a strange way, they had been good times for Thag. He’d become the leader of the hunters. He’d discovered art — in the form of cave painting — and this artistic flowering had garnered him even more respect. (And nookie.)

But now the shaman was demanding that Thag take Onga back. This was a problematic request. First of all, Onga was pretty sure that she didn’t want Thag back. (She had, after all, left Thag of her own accord, even after he did everything he could to make her happy.) Secondly, Thag was absolutely sure that he didn’t want Onga back, even if he had to admit that his dalliances with some of the eligible women of the tribe were not as sexually satisfying as his long-term relationship with Onga.

A further complication was that in the summer the Thunka Grunka Clan were going to the Gathering, a conclave of clans that only happened once every few years. This was an excellent time to procure a new mate, or if nothing else, really party down.

On the other hand, Onga’s father, Bushenior, was one of the Elders, and he carried a lot of sway with the tribe. Things might get uncomfortable if the Elder decided to take a stand against Thag. There was already talk that he’d have the hunters accept his son Dubyag as the new leader of the hunters. This would be a disaster, as Dubyag was a cretin even before he got kicked in the head by a wooly rhino. So, there was the other hunters to consider — would he consign them to poor leadership, injury and possibly death, just because he didn’t want Onga back?

It made Thag’s head hurt, and there was no easy way to make the decision. Even his art was suffering, he noted, as the horse he was trying to draw ended up having five legs.

He would sleep on it. Ever since he was little, he always made better decisions after a good night’s sleep.

But first, perhaps that nubile Blodja would like to go for another “walk” in the forest.

Did you know that it was best to sleeping on it for making the best of complex decisions? Alltop is anything but sleepy.. Originally published 2006.


  1. it could be worse, Thag could be bisexual, think of all the confusion that would ensue. not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    six friggin stabs at the code dad. six!

  2. Okay, okay, I’ll turn it off. If I get innundated with spam, I’ll just go back to no comments.

  3. Tangled Bank #48

    Welcome to Tangled Bank #48! Tons of good stuff to share with you today. I considered a number of themes, including the invisible theme (aka, none at all), but decided on “songs by groups that may have been in my…

  4. Mr. Rayner…..your Thag series is a great vehicle for satirical presentation…

    I salute the concept and you…


  5. Hang on!

    Worse, Thag could be homosexual….

    No comment (I’m not going to ‘Seinfeld’ it)….but…

    What if we were all ‘that way inclined’?….

    None of us would be here…..

    There is no such thing as a ‘gay’ universe…..snivel libertarians have a lot to answer for…

    And there is definately “something wrong with that”

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