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The Lost Power Point Slides (Armada Edition)

The Battle of GravelinesKing Phillip II presents “The English Are Pigs” (circa 1588) –> slide 6

  • Murdered Mary Queen of Scots
  • Keep burgling my Possessions in the New World
  • They smell like trotters
  • (And worship Satan, according to my good buddy, the Pope).

Media Sidonia presents “But I don’t want to be an admiral” (circa 1588) –> slide 3

  • I agree, English are perfidious scum
  • Pirates
  • Protestants
  • But you know I get seasick.

Sir Francis Drake presents “Just bowl, damn your eyes!” (circa July 20, 1588) –> only slide

  • Look, I’m playing bowls here
  • We’ve already done them at Cadiz easily
  • There’s lots of time to finish this end and beat the Spanish
  • Now watch me touch the jack
  • No, not you, you pillock, the little white ball!

Lord Howard of Effingham presents “That bloody pirate” (circa August 8, 1588) –> slide 2

  • Yes, Drake did a nice job scattering the Spanish fleet with fire ships
  • And he did well getting the weather gauge and beating them at Gravelines
  • Shouldn’t have stopped his pursuit to capture the Spanish galleon ‘Rosario’, even if it was loaded with gold.

Spanish Sailor Sergio Manandez presents “Ireland looks good” (circa late August, 1588) –>only slide

  • Made it around Scotland
  • Hurricane
  • Can’t swim
  • No anchor
  • Looking forward to running aground in Ireland
  • I’ve heard they’re friendly.

Queen Elizabeth I presents “No guts, no glory” (circa August 8, 1588) –>slide six

  • Joined you here in Tilbury
  • To live or die with you
  • Have body of weak woman
  • But heart and stomach of a King
  • (And you’ll recall my father had quite a stomach.)

Anniversary of the Battle of Gravelines (August 8, 1588), when English defeated the Spanish Armada …. Okay, partially defeated the Armada. The weather did the rest.


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