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The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Buccaneer Edition)

Arrrr!Roche Braziliano presents “Not a Buccaneer” –> slide 1 (circa 1655)

  • “boucanier” is a French smoker of meat
  • har, they smoke meat good there
  • also, they smell like dead pigs
  • now drink with me or I’ll roast you alive
  • okay, maybe I’m a kind of buccaneer.

Jean-David Nau (François l’Ollonais) presents “Torture etiquette” –> slide 6 (circa 1667)

woolding

  • fast and effective
  • bind cord around victim’s head
  • (always explain how much it will hurt first)
  • tighten with wooden crank
  • keep cranking until they tell you what you want to know
  • or their eyes pop out
  • either way, keep cranking!

Sir Henry Morgan presents “Exceeding Your Commission” –>slide 12 (circa 1674)

  • no sea voyage is complete without a sacking of Panama
  • not in my Letter of Marque and Reprisal, per se
  • nor was using Jesuit priests as human shields (works well)

Sir Henry Morgan presents “Exceeding Your Commission” –>slide 13 (circa 1674)

  • but I really didn’t know England was at peace with Spain
  • thus, the knighthood
  • arrrrrr!