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The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Caligula Edition)

Head of Caligula (in marble)Germanicus presents “On Campaign with My Three-Year-Old Son” (circa 15 AD) –> slide 4

  • Put him in miniature set of armor
  • Army mascot
  • They call him “Little soldier’s boots” (Caligula)
  • Isn’t he adorable?

Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (Caligula) presents “A normal childhood” (circa 35 AD) –> Slide 3

After father Germanicus died:

  • lived with mother until the Emperor Tiberius (adoptive grandfather) banished her
  • lived with adoptive great-grandmother (Livia) until she died
  • brother Nero died in exile
  • brother Drussus died in prison (either from eating bedding or starvation)
  • went to live with Tiberius on Capri
  • good times!

Pullox the fishmonger presents “A good start” (circa 37 AD) –> Only slide

  • Lots of gladiatorial games
  • Animals sacrificed
  • He’s the son Germanicus (great general that)
  • And let’s face it, after Tiberius anyone looks good!

Lollia Paulina presents “Something’s not right with that man” (circa 38 AD) –> Slide 12

  • My husband the Emperor has been acting odd since he got sick
  • I can live with the whoring
  • Excessive killings
  • But I really wish he’d stop insisting I call him “Hercules”.

Julia Agrippina (the younger) presents “My brother is a mad, mad pig” (circa 40 AD) –> Slide 2

  • Has sex with me, Drusilla and Livilla
  • Then declared us Vestal Virgins
  • Also, he thinks he’s a god
  • Dresses up like Hercules, Apollo and Venus.

Caligula presents “I’m not crazy” (circa 40 AD) –> Last slide

  • I only kill people when they upset me
  • Like, when they call me “little boots”
  • I really hate that
  • Besides, I’m a bunch of Gods, so I can do what I want
  • Now, I’m going to make my horse a Senator.

Cassius Chaerea of the Praetorian Guard presents “He’s gotta go” (41 AD) –> Slide two

  • He calls me “noodle dick”
  • (It’s a war wound and I can’t help it)
  • Luckily, there are lots of other groups that want him dead too.

Anniversary of Caligula’s death: January 24. Here is a group that has not slept with their sisters. Photo credit: mharrsch.


  1. Looks like he’s losing the tip of his nose. Is that syphillis?

  2. I’m pretty sure syphilis didn’t arrive in Europe until Columbus brought it back, so he’s ground down his nose some other way.

    I’ll leave that up to your imagination.

  3. Your wit is sharp!

  4. LOL!

    Now I am going to have to go pull out my history books and whatnot to check your facts, but honestly, I am hoping at least the “noodle dick” one is accurate!! 🙂

  5. I think the gist of it is accurate. I read that one the reasons he killed Caligula was because the Emperor made fun of Chaerea’s soft “womanish” voice.

  6. madelene madelene

    absolutely hilarious!

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