The Lost PowerPoint Slides (King Kong Edition)

Thoughts on Megaprimatus kong Interactions with Slender Attractive Young Women of Northern European Extraction (presented by Jan Kungheim, Professor of Correct Anthropology at the University of Appropriate Conduct, Helsinki) –> slide 6

• it appears that physically enhanced primate from “Skull Island” is not inclined to dismember Ann Darrow
• instead, the “Kong” (as it is known to the indigenous population of “Skull Island”) seems to enjoy Ms. Darrow’s light-colored hair that is common among populations in Northern Europe, Britain and North America. (And now in Japan with the introduction of L’Oreal.)
• Ms. Darrow is not maintaining the neutrality we expect from expect from a student in anthropology at
  Cambridge
• our project sponsor, “Carl Denham” says Ms. Darrow is “a natural”.

Ensign Stewart presents, What happened on Skull Island –> slide 4

• chased the big ape carrying Miss Darrow
• she’s lovely, that Miss Darrow
• can’t blame the enormous gorilla, really, can I?
• then we got shaken into the crevasse filled with creepy crawlies
• have you ever seen a man killed by a three-foot louse?
• then don’t judge me for wanting to shoot that feckin’ ape!

Ann Darrow, PhD student in anthropology, presents “My Kong” –> slide 12

• My Kong is gentle
• My Kong is kind
• My Kong is more ape than ape-ropriate.

Jennifer Glam, anonymous blond in Carl Denham’s stage show, “The Eight Wonder of the World”, presents, Broadway –>slide 2

• you must work very hard to get on stage on Broadway
• or be a slut
• either way, the monkey will throw YOU off its back
• sometimes literally.

Julian presents “What the?”–>slide 5

• one minute, I find a really nice bit of crumpet at the Shrine
• the next, I’m being stung by tiny male crumpets
• then I wake up in thick chains, and the crumpet is gone
• who wouldn’t get pissed?