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The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Wacky Ancient Greek Atheist Edition)

Epicurus, the Dude!Anaxagoras of Ionia presents “Hot metal, man” (circa 450 BC) –>slide 6

  • sun is not Helios riding a chariot in the sky
  • it is a blazing ball of metal
  • hot metal, man, hot metal
  • hey, it makes as much sense!

Diagoras the Atheist presents “Miracle, my ass” (circa 415 BC) –> slide 3

  • so this wooden statue prevented ship from sinking?
  • throw it (Herakles) on fire
  • if it can perform miracles, then it should have no problem
  • otherwise, his thirteenth labour shall be to boil my turnips!

Democritus presents “Ungulate theory” (circa 400 BC) –> slide two

  • all things made of atoma (atoms)
  • soul is just an exceedingly fine and spherical kind of atom
  • or perhaps superstition
  • in any case, it’s not that different from a goat.

Socrates presents “Method to my madness” (circa 399 BC) –> last slide

  • you have accused me of atheos (refusing to acknowledge the state gods) and corrupting the youth of Athens
  • it’s a fair cop
  • you should know I’ve been inspired by divine voice, Daemon
  • also, enjoy a nice pint of hemlock.

Epicurus presents “It’s all good — not God — baby” (circa 300 BC) –>slide 12

  • if gods exist (if!) then they’re not interested in humans
  • death is the end of body and soul (if it exists)
  • not to be feared
  • what is good is pleasure, baby, but not too much pleasure
  • why I let women into my philosophy school.

More about the History of Atheism here [wiki] and more ungodly humor here. The disembodied floating head of Epicurus (who rocked) is based on a photo by dithie.