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The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Winter Festival Edition)

Sunrise at winterThag presents “Less darky!” (circa 11,564 BC) –> Only slide

  • Shortest day in year
  • Less darky after this
  • More light good
  • Pass mammoth rib please!

Catullus presents “Saturnalia ho!” (circa 69 BC) –> Slide 6

  • gifts
  • gambling
  • tomfoolery (masters serve the slaves, nudge, nudge)
  • public nudity
  • the best of times!

Snagur Snarfasson presents “Yule be guessing” (circa 215 AD) –> Slide 3

Julebukking is the best:

  • Disguise ourselves in masks and costumes
  • Carry dead goat’s head in honor of Thor
  • Visit neighbors
  • Scare shit out of them ’till they give us mead.

Origen presents “Nativity schmativity” (circa 245 AD) –> Slide 1

  • Christ is not like some pharaoh
  • Only sinners celebrate birthdays
  • Do you want to be a sinner?

King Richard II presents “Pig out with the Plantagentents!” (circa 1377 AD) –> slide 12

Christmas feast includes:

  • 28 oxen
  • 300 sheep
  • 2000 chickens
  • 1 Yule boar.

Thomas Nast presents “Fat Santa” (circa 1863) –> slide 3

  • Harper’s wants a Santa Claus illustration
  • Everyone else draws him like some emaciated string bean
  • I’m going to make him a fat jolly bastard.
Beautiful photo by Peter Bowers. He has nothing to do (that we know of) with Alltop. Originally published December 2007.


  1. I’m exposing your sordid exploits. Oh yes. I’ve got the scoop on you.

  2. You forgot to include Black Santa.

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