The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Winter Festival Edition)

Thag presents “Less darky!” (circa 11,564 BC) –> Only slide

• Shortest day in year
• Less darky after this
• More light good
• Pass mammoth rib please!

Catullus presents “Saturnalia ho!” (circa 69 BC) –> Slide 6

• gifts
• gambling
• tomfoolery (masters serve the slaves, nudge, nudge)
• public nudity
• the best of times!

Snagur Snarfasson presents “Yule be guessing” (circa 215 AD) –> Slide 3

Julebukking is the best:

• Disguise ourselves in masks and costumes
• Carry dead goat’s head in honor of Thor
• Visit neighbors
• Scare shit out of them ’till they give us mead.

Origen presents “Nativity schmativity” (circa 245 AD) –> Slide 1

• Christ is not like some pharaoh
• Only sinners celebrate birthdays
• Do you want to be a sinner?

King Richard II presents “Pig out with the Plantagentents!” (circa 1377 AD) –> slide 12

Christmas feast includes:

• 28 oxen
• 300 sheep
• 2000 chickens
• 1 Yule boar.

Thomas Nast presents “Fat Santa” (circa 1863) –> slide 3

• Harper’s wants a Santa Claus illustration
• Everyone else draws him like some emaciated string bean
• I’m going to make him a fat jolly bastard.

Beautiful photo by Peter Bowers. He has nothing to do (that we know of) with Alltop. Originally published December 2007.