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Twitter etiquette

twitter bird with odd DM

If someone follows you, please, don’t immediately DM them and ask them to friend you on FB now, or buy your book, or watch your hilarious YouTube videos, etc.

Imagine you’re at a party, and you’ve just encountered Bob. Bob seems interesting. Bob has a neat beard and a funny t-shirt. So you start a conversation.

“Hi Bob,” you say, “nice to meet you.”

“Mark. Let’s talk privately over here,” Bob says, as he forces you into the pantry next to the kitchen. (Because most of the fun people hang out in the kitchen. Usually.)

“Thanks for meeting me,” Bob says. You only now notice the feverish look in his eyes. “I don’t want to blow my own horn, but you should seriously check out this artisanal ice cream scooper I made out of recycled tin and sadness. It’s awesome, and helped me overcome my crushing existential angst. This party is great, right? Oh, and could you let everyone else here know about my scoopers? They’re recycled. And artisanal. “

You’re going to leave the pantry, right? That’s the right thing to do. Because Bob is acting WEIRD.

Alltop is the life of the party, especially after 2 am. Excellent Twitter bird by Matt Hamm, via Flickr.