Writer’s note: Most of the Twitter handles are invented. And if the reverse chronology is a problem, you may prefer to start this short story at the beginning, but I recommend starting here:
LandingPartyONE Displeased we did not demolish Twitter servers instead of using them. Activate sterilization protocol. less than 5 seconds ago from TweeterProbe
Happybriefs I’ve destroyed all them in my house with a fern spritzer and my son’s SuperSoaker. I know, it’s stupid, but water does it! #pocylpse less than 5 seconds ago from web
Bovatime The goats have thrown in with them.
We’re fucked. less than 5 seconds ago from TractorTweet
Beanlover They’re all devastated by water — robots, monkeys, zombie-mushroom-people. All of them. RT, RT, RT! #pocylpse. less than 5 seconds ago from web
SeePeeOh Thank god I got that RT. Flying monkeys are carrying blasters! Laser beams. Whatever. RT! Follow the discussion, people! #pocylpse. less than 5 seconds ago from mobile web
Normalman RT @Rockrchick@UberPR Flying monkeys are also carrying some kind of beam weapon! #pocylpse Please RT. less than 5 seconds ago from web
Rockrchick RT@UberPR Flying monkeys are also carrying some kind of beam weapon! #pocylpse Please RT. less than 5 seconds ago from TweetDeck
ThumperB I’ve decided there is no God.
This is bullshit! less than 10 seconds ago from Twirl
UberPR Flying monkeys are also carrying some kind of beam weapon! #pocylpse Please RT. less than 10 seconds ago from web
HappybriefsBasement no good. Mushroom things can dig man! Water is their kryptonite though. Isn’t that gay? #pocylpse Please RT. less than 10 seconds ago from web
Chknlady Managed to get away from shroomers — kind of like zombies, eh? In stairwell with only one bar. Just in case, I love you Dan! less than 10 seconds ago from mobile web
Ballbearing12 Their skulls crush so easily.
Sweet. less than 20 seconds ago from TweeterProbe
Captnjojo@CreamGirl It means the apocalypse. More of a war of the world scenario, really. Suppose fire from landing ships is #biblical. #pocylpse less than 20 seconds ago from web
50sMama Why there are flying monkeys stuck in my chimney? The little creatures outside really do look like mushrooms. They’ve eaten my cat. less than 20 seconds ago from web
Bovatime Goats are negotiating with mushroom people . Cows making a run for it. Both udderly disgraceful. less than 20 seconds ago from TractorTweet
Handbaglady Flying monkey grabbed new purse. 🙁 Mushroom person eating foot. Looks like Kuato with leprosy and long teeth. Yes, I’ve seen Total Recall. less than 20 seconds ago from mobile web
ThumperB This sucks. Clearly, I missed the Rapture. I think the mushroom people are devils. #pocylpse less than 20 seconds ago from Twirl
Captnjojo Looks like this might be an article to read quickly. I don’t like the look of those shroom-dudes. #pocylpse 1 minute ago from web
Happygrrl > @Blobbob You’re OUTING someone at the End of the World? You’re so UNFOLLOWED. #pocylpse 2 minutes ago from TweetDeck
SeePeeOh@DrTundra No. Monkeys. I don’t think you needed to take peyote today. Plus the parking lot is crawling with mushroom people. We’re doomed! 2 minutes ago from mobile web
Blobbob The whole house is shaking. The monkey screaming! I think this is it. I’ve been dying to let everyone know Darren is gay. #pocylpse 2 minutes ago from web
Captnjojo@BolandOR I like the idea of occupying a WalMart. Kind of like Born in the Great WalMart Stand. Story here: http://bit.ly/cImX 2 minutes ago from web
HappyBriefs Won’t be back online for a while. Going to basement! #pocylpse 3 minutes ago from TweetDeck
DrTundra Should the sky be that color? What is that flying through the air? Should I have drunk that peyote shake this morning? #pocylpse 3 minutes ago from web
ThumperB@BolandOR You shouldn’t make fun of the Bible’s prophecies. The Word is real. The Whore is among us! 4 minutes ago from Twirl
50sMoma I think one of those things just attacked the postal worker. Isn’t a shame we can’t say PostMAN anymore? 4 minutes ago from web
DonnaVinci@50sMoma What kind of mushrooms do you use in muffins? Shitaki? 4 minutes ago from web
50sMoma Baking muffins and watching strange things run down the street. Look like mushrooms with legs. 5 minutes ago from web
LandingPartyONE Unleash ground forces.
Keep your fingers away from the cages! 5 minutes ago from TweeterProbe
BolandOR@Beteeee Seriously, a #monkey# apocalypse. What about something #Biblical, like frogs? 6 minutes ago from web
Handbaglady Just bought the most darling handbag at Saks.
HappybriefsNot an earthquake. But there’s something weird going on out there. Look at the sky! 7 minutes ago from Tweetdeck
LandingPartyONE It is time to release aero-forces. Ensure their “Lasers” are armed. 8 minutes ago from TweeterProbe
Beteeee@BolandOR I am getting SO tired of blithe references to the zombie apocalypse. What if it’s not zombies? What if it’s robots, or monkeys? 7 minutes ago from web
BolandOR Excellent article about how to survive coming zombie #apocalypse. http://bit.ly/SyzBo 8 minutes ago from mobile web
Penguinlover Hi everyone. Just got up and gonna get me some brain food. And coffee! 8 minutes ago from web
LandingPartyONE Set up account.
We are happy. 8 minutes ago from web
UberPR@Happbriefs Yeah, we got it here in Manhattan too. Earthquake? 9 minutes ago from web
Happybriefs Did anyone else in Schenectady feel that shudder? It was like an earthquake or something. 9 minutes ago from Tweetdeck
Bovatime Cows are acting weird.
Goats too. 10 minutes ago from TractorTweet
One of these books has no mention of the apocalypse. Read them all to discover which!
Brilliant! At least now the pressure’s off to join Twitter, now that the ‘pocalypse has come.
(Heh. TractorTweet.)
So gratified someone noticed that 🙂 m.
I actually think it plays out better if you read it chronologically. But hell thats just me and my adherence to the space time continuum.
I love it! Very funny. And I always suspected Darren was gay!
Adam.
It makes me want to sign up on Twitter…
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I love it, thanks so much 🙂
That’s really funny. Can’t leave the cows alone, huh?