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Procedural Changes and Membership
Rules
are listed in our Codex
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| The morning after a night of "reading". |
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The Emily Chesley
Reading Circle (ECRC) dedicates itself to a monthly "library
night" where they shall meet at a mutually-agreeable "reading"
venue.
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The ECRC pledges to further the study
of Emily Chesley, a long-overlooked Canadian speculative fiction
writer of the late Victorian period, who lived for some time in the
London, Ontario region.
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Membership to the ECRC is by invitation
only, and only to those persons interested in Emily Chesley, the genteel
pursuit of "reading" and, of course, the following groups:
fruit bats, Magyars named Steve, and polite, sweet-smelling Parisians.
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Foundational members are, in reverse
alphabetical order: Dr Maximilian Tundra; John Sloan, TGCS; "Foothills
Mac" Ruddock; Mark A. Rayner, Esq.; D. Bartholomew Lurie, Flyboy;
and Jeff Black, Dude.
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Smoking of pipes and/or cigars is purely
optional. Silly hats may be worn at meetings.
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At each meeting, the ECRC shall endeavour
to draft one LETTER OF ANNOYANCE. The ECRC will decide at each meeting
which organization(s), person(s) or abstract idea(s) shall be the
cause of its Annoyance. The LETTER OF ANNOYANCE will be sent, with
carbon copies, to appropriate members of the media at no later than
one week after the meeting by the current Secretary.
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Apart from Secretary are no other roles
(functional or ceremonial) within the ECRC. The ECRC is a society
of jaundiced equals. As there is work involved, and nobody really
wants to be Secretary, the role will pass from one person to another,
until it ends up with Dr. Tundra.
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Membership dues shall be paid in full,
if there are any to pay.
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Non-payment shall be punished by jeers,
rude noises and excruciating, endless sarcasm.
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Ritual suicide is not condoned
by the ECRC, even if dues are not paid.
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If there are dues, they shall be spent
on the following items, in order of importance: stationery for ECRC
correspondence, rental of "reading" venues, "library"
costs, and various other items that may be necessary to fulfill the
goals of the ECRC.
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Individual members of the ECRC may,
at their own discretion (particularly if they haven't paid
their dues), decide to produce original works of fiction, research
into Emily Chesley's writing, essays, letters, "To Do" lists,
or draft LETTERS OF ANNOYANCE for discussion. Poetry of any kind other
than that written by Emily Chesley is forbidden, unless it's any good
(ie. bad).
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At the discretion of the members, meetings
may be conducted in high silly voices, absurd foreign accents, or
both.
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Members of the ECRC are permitted to
mimic the sounds of bodily functions, but any actual
sounds are not encouraged.
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The ECRC shall not shirk from its duty
to point out the failings of everyone, including (but not exclusively
inculpating) itself.
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The ECRC is not precisely against facial
hair, but members shall have to demonstrate some Viking heritage before
being allowed to grow mustaches longer than 45 centimeters in length.
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The following words and phrases shall
not be used in ECRC correspondence: orange, welter, vasectomy
and Wankel rotary engine. Alternate phraseology (in order)
includes, but is not limited to: tasty citrus sphere, wallow,
big pink snip, and internal combustion thingy.
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In addition to words already deemed
unacceptable in ECRC correspondence, ‘sieve’ (icky poo)
shall also be banned from both written and oral communications of
and within the Circle. Alternative phraseology for the dreaded and
most despicable s-word will be ‘strainer deal’. When spoken,
‘strainer deal’ shall preferably be prefaced with a muffled
harumph and then spake in a nasal monotone.
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The unnecessary -- use -- of hyphens,
and commas, in any official correspondence of the ECRC is strongly
discouraged, while the use of parentheses (rightly or wrongly) shall
be optional.
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Decisions to employ exclamation marks,
italics, superlatives, and other stylistic conventions in any official
correspondence of the ECRC for the sole effect of emphasis must be
weighed with EXTREME(!) CAUTION.
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Curse words and scatological phrases,
however, may be used liberally and at random.
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However, complimentary, complementary,
their, there, they’re, here, hear, practise, practice, foul,
fowl, pore, pour, poor, fir, fur, build, billed, bare, bear, right,
write and itchy scrotum may be interchanged at will – provided
they are used in proper context.
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Not withstanding the above, grammatical
nit-picking or other demonstrations of anal retentiveness with regard
to spelling, syntax and punctuation will not be tolerated. Members
may, following a majority vote of ECRC colleagues, be subject to penalties
of nose tweaking for minor transgressions and fence wedgies for more
flagrant violations.
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General pettiness, however, is strongly
encouraged.
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Whenever the word "Norwegian"
is used, members shall curse (in unison) " Damn
the Norwegians!". (This latter phrase is not to be
counted, of course, towards the maxim to curse, thereby avoiding an
endless feedback loop.)
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The Covenant is a secret document, only
to be shared with Rhesus monkeys, family pets, and anyone who asks
nicely to see it. Mockery of the Covenant is not to be tolerated,
and should be treated with scorn, or possibly, extreme snippiness
(unless of course if mocked by your wife).
We, the foundational members of the Emily
Chesley Circle,
do hereby attest on this
29th day of October, 1998
in the City of London, Ontario, CANADA
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