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...About the Emily
Chesley Reading Circle
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Member Bio |
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Voltaire called him: "le fantôme ivre avec les narines extrêmement grandes" |
Scott "The Ghost" Hill
Born in the Age of Reason, The Ghost emerged from the womb with his tiny pink fingers clutching a quill pen. When the midwife looked at the newborn, she was astonished to see that the child held not only a pen, but a sheaf of papers, upon which was written the beginnings of a splendid treatise on claustrophobia. "Mon dieu," she whispered, "Jesu et le fantôme saint!" This last epithet stuck, and Scott has been known as "The Ghost" ever since (the "Holy" was dropped after his brief -- and ill-conceived -- foray into interpretive dance in the late-1860s). True to his natal promise, The Ghost has cut a fine literary swath through the ages. In his early years, The Ghost was known to thumb his nose at authority, a trait which earned him high praise from Voltaire, who called him "le fantôme ivre avec les narines extrêmement grandes" (literally, the drunken Ghost with extremely large nostrils). Though his work won him the approbation of the literati, his rude, phlegmy writing didn't go over as well with the Nobility, and later, Robespierre's "Committee of Public Safety (and Cutting the Heads Off as Many People as Possible)". So The Ghost immigrated to Britain, where he spent the better part of the Romantic period alternately imagining what it would be like to be a sheppard, and wondering what it would be like to be A. Sheppard, of Shrewsbury Lane. Mr. Sheppard was reputedly shtuping the lovely Mrs. M. Shelley, while her husband participated in homo-erotic swimming contests with a club-footed poet. Following a successful run penning comic burlesque in the Victorian and Edwardian eras, The Ghost vanished from Europe. He moved to North America to work with the advertising industry, where his edgy, goober-encrusted prose has earned him accolades and several courses of antibiotics. In a weak moment (possibly brought on by his regular commute from Komoka to London) The Ghost entered the Circle's inaugural Tundra Prize contest; naturally, his mucous-bound masterpiece won, to such acclaim that he was immediately invited to join the Chesleyan community as a visiting scholar. In addition to Emily Chesley, The Ghost claims his writing is influenced by Arthur Guinness, the Group of Seven, Sir Monty Python, Mulla Nasrudin and Obi Wan Kenobi. --"Scholarship" by The Squire |
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