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...About the Emily
Chesley Reading Circle
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Member Bio |
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Dr. Watson --A Brief Biography-- At first glance, Michael Watson, PhD is often taken for a son of privilege, a man of wealth and distinction who takes his soup chilled and with a silver spoon. This reaction is unsurprising, given Dr. Watson's chiseled jaw, his aquiline nose, his steely gaze, and his taut yet manly buttocks. However, behind Dr. Watson's regal and Hasselhofian visage lie unplumbed depths of intellect, immeasurable mental horsepower, and a sentient spring so tightly coiled as to pose a danger for passersby when - as is inevitable - it eventually snaps. Despite the danger (but, perhaps, because of his great physical and cerebral beauty), scholarly "groupies" abound.
Yes, within the cloistered walls of academia, in the shadow of the ivory towers of acumen, in the shopping malls of erudition and analysis, Dr. Watson is held in high esteem. Known as "the historian's historian," his thoughts are so deep as to be bottomless. His credentials are impeccable, and his powers of observation and loquacity unmatched. Perhaps most importantly for a man in Dr. Watson's exalted position, his moustache is immaculately maintained. Irrespective of his spotless character and the flawless lustre of his youthful skin, Michael Watson is not without societal blemish. He does, for instance, have a vaguely chequered past, and a somewhat sordid nickname: "Panties." There is a reason for this peculiar moniker. In his early post-graduate days, Dr. Watson built his reputation on a foundation of intellectual insight in the field of ladies undergarments. Many readers of "academic journals" (having undoubtedly purchased such for the articles, and not for the illustrations) will be familiar with the titles of his various publications:
At this stage of his career, Dr. Watson was widely recognized as the leading authority on union suits, long johns, latex and leather, underwire, mesh, inflatability and straps (or the lack thereof). Is it any wonder that his envious colleagues dubbed him "Panties"? Having delved into as many types of underwear as possible, and in a successful attempt to apply starch to the stained fabric of his academic standing, Dr. Watson has turned his prodigious cranial talents to more serious scholarly pursuits. In recent years, through his association with the much-heralded Emily Chesley Reading Circle - Dr. Watson has discovered the rich history of one of literature's greatest minds, and has dedicated his efforts to aiding society's understanding of this prodigious and profound prose-peddler through his widely-known Chesleyan Chestnuts. However, only his most ardent admirers are familiar with Dr. Watson's latest efforts surrounding additional 19th Century writers: his Addison's Almonds, the Pecans of Poe, Browning's Brazil Nuts, Hardyesque Hazelnuts, Malthusian Macadamias, Wilde's Walnuts, and the Cashews of Coleridge. Unsurprisingly, Dr. Watson - the member formerly known as "Panties" - is also known as the Nutty Professor and (among his closest confidants) the Seedy Scholar. As many have said, Dr. Watson is not just a history nut. he's a nut historian. --"Scholarship" by Flyboy |
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