Ask General Kang: I'm losin' it! I need the good stuff, but I can't get it. What do I do?

You’re a Blackberry user, right?

I can’t get email on a minute-by-minute basis! I’m freakin out!

Heh…heh…hehe…heh.

Seriously, it feels like insects are crawling all over my skin.

Perhaps you should get some heroin to take off the edge. I’m sure they’ll fix the system soon.

Next time: My lower intestine seems to be developing some kind of bio-weapon. Do you think the UN would impose sanctions on it?