Your human mating rituals are really quite amusing. Dating sites are so passé on my homeworld of Neecknaw.
Instead of dating sites, we have two bi-weekly “Gathering of the Gonads” in which our eligible primates are displayed in natural habitats– such as coffee shops, bars, supermarkets, parents’ basements, and so on. The eligible singles then pick the habitat with which they are most comfortable and are encouraged to do something they would normally do in this milieu. (Tuesday nights for the males, Wednesday for the females.)
In this way, potential mates can gather and browse through the dregs of the gene pool – and let’s be honest about this, they are the cast-offs, never-weres, the shadow world of the reproductive set – and find that special someone who’s going to make the genic mash-up of their dreams come true.
As a side benefit, all the married and matched über-chimps, hyper-orangutans and gorilloids can come too, and say things like: “We’re so lucky we’re not out there anymore.”
Wait, how is this supposed to help me with my dating site question?
I’m just putting this into context for you, so you don’t get your hopes up. You could try an out-of-focus picture, something really grainy, or perhaps just not put up a picture at all – sure, people will assume the worst, but hey, this is all about lowering expectations!
And don’t worry about proper spelling and punctuation. That’s for grammar Nazis and nerds.
Next time: I need help with the grooming rituals of the Hirsute Planet in the Soft-Center Galaxy!