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Ask General Kang: I just heard NASA doesn't have the money to protect Earth from killer asteroids — what should I do?

Ask General KangThis is a tough one. You’re referring to the report yesterday that NASA says it could find the 20,000 potentially hazardous comets and asteroids near Earth, but it would cost $1 billion. It doesn’t have the cash, so your planet will go unprotected.

I’m torn on this problem. On one hand, I’m currently residing on this planet, so there is some concern — who wants to be so unlucky as to get killed by a meteor? I mean, that’s just embarrassing. On the other hand, if NASA has a robust observation platform, then it might spot my Lost Armada (if it ever arrives) and my Tutu Brigade will have more problems conquering your puny planet.

On the third prehensile appendage (my left foot, remember, I’m an uber-chimp) it would serve you silly humans right. You’re willing to spend hundreds of billions on killing other humans, but not even one billion on protecting everyone? And if we’re rounding out the appendage count, I guess I have to give you an answer, because that’s my job at the moment.

So, try to raise the money another way. Get a consortium together and don’t rely on NASA to do it. You could start with a bake sale, and I can bring my Smashing Banana Meteor Muffins.

Next time: Do you have a question for General Kang? Leave it in the comments.