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Ask General Kang: Okay, I’m totally confused about which fork I should use for the fish course. Does this make me a boor?

Ask General Kang photoWell, I hate to be a bearer of bad news, but I know which is the fish fork, and I’m a freakin’ monkey.

However, this does not mean you’re a boor.

You’re a boor if you look at the number of implements beside your plate, stare at the fish course with its malevolent dead eyes, almost mocking your ignorance, and then announce: “well, I don’t know what God-damned fork to use!”

Then you’re a boor.

If after this announcement, you lift one butt cheek, and let one rip, then you’re worse — you’re a redneck (or a baboon).

If you don’t want to display this kind of oafish behaviour, my recommendation is that you watch what everyone else is doing, and copy them. If they’re wrong, well, at least you won’t stand out.

Unless, of course, you’re really hungry. Then just pick the damn thing up with your fingers and eat.

I like to make little “ooo, ooo, ooo” noises when I choose this option.

Next time: Okay, so what is it? Is the universe expanding or contracting? I need to know where to purchase my parking space downtown.

Alltop and humor-blogs.com eat with their toes.

3 Comments

  1. Follow up question from Travis the Chimp: What fork should I use when I bite the face off of my owner’s best friend?

  2. Why is fish the only meat that gets its own fork. Wheres my lamb fork thats what I want to know.

  3. Mark – fork optional in this case.
    Alex – Is dessert a kind of meat? m.

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