Ask General Kang: One of our male ambassadors was just found outside his embassy, floor-lickingly drunk, and naked except for a pair of ladies undergarments — what should I do?

Well, unless you’re the Prime Minister of the UK, you definitely have to do something to improve the quality of your diplomatic corps.

My recommendation is pants-less chimps. Give them cute little outfits — probably top hat and tails would be most appropriate for diplomats — and hearts of your allies and enemies alike will melt when they get a visit from Ambassador Bobo.

Until the poo-flinging starts anyway.

Next time: I’m terrified I might inadvertently commit patricide and marry my mother — should I just blind myself now and get it over with? Oedipus Wreck.