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Beach Babes of Vision

Misunderstood Genius


Greta “The Fallopian” Webcastico was ahead of her time. Not only was she the finest beach accordionist in the tri-state area, Greta was the first composer to create music designed to be played in counterpoint to the dulcet tones of molting seagulls eager to eat your French Fries.

The truth was, Greta was the ONLY beach accordionist in the tri-state area. That said, Arnold Schoenberg was intrigued by her ideas and incorporated them into his 12-tone masterpiece, “Variations on the Key of Bleeding Ears.”

Jenny Buxom, beach babe and safe sex enthusiastTime her of ahead

Jenny Buxom was also a forward-thinking beach babe. Nobody was sure if her claims that she had been to the Land of the Future was eccentric whimsy, or if her radioactive bikini (which she’d picked up for a song at the Atoll-must-go sale) was causing a her synapses to misfire.

Whimsy or not, she was serious about any prospective beaux putting on “the suit” before hanky-panky.

She called it safe sex.

Dieter called it delectable. Particularly when she stood on his air hose.

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Alltop is also ahead of their time. Thanks to Foxtongue for finding these pics. Originally published in February, 2009.

[From the Toulouse Le Grandfig Necrobiblia collection]


  1. She can stand on my air hose… I have no idea what that means…

  2. No bones about it; beach accordionists are awesome.

  3. Great photos to include here. Beach accordionist: ah, those were the days. Now it’s just half-nude women on the beaches.

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