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Damn you Ruth Smythers!

Prior to 1894, the marriage bed was a steamy, lusty adventure, filled with orgiastic pleasured denied to those poor fools who elected to stay unmarried.

Then came Ruth Smythers, beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers, and author of the tract: INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God (published by Spiritual Guidance Press).

In this screed against the pleasures of the marriage bed, she offered the following advice, which has been so successful as to ruin the institution of marriage:


But who was this harridan? Why did she so detest the sexual manifestation of love, which in some cultures is considered a sacrament?

Text from her own writing reveals the truth:

While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it.

Yep, she was an ice queen.

And fictitious. Enjoy.