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Full-on Aural Assault Wednesdays

Full-on Aural Assault WednesdaysI’ve noticed that quite a few bloggers do this “Wordless Wednesday” thing, in which you get a picture to caption, or a video of a mime reenacting the night that Madame Curie discovered she could make her sex toys glow. Not to be outdone, The Skwib is instituting “Full-on Aural Assault” Wednesdays.

This first entry is from composers Vitaly Komar, Alex Melamid and David Soldier, who decided to create the worst song ever. You got it, they did extensive research, and composed a tune that includes all the things we hate when it comes to music. What do we hate? Such musical bête noires as:

  • ferocious banjo playing
  • Chinese children’s choruses
  • harp glissandos
  • thundering pipe organ solos
  • oompah-ing tubas
  • screaming bagpipes.

I’m a little upset about that last one. If you’re about to charge into battle with a claymore, wearing nothing but a dodgy skirt and woad-painted nipples, screaming bagpipes are just the trick. However, if you’ve just enjoyed an evening of fine single malt whiskey and haggis, the last thing you want to hear is a selection of reels and jigs played on a bagpipe. Especially in an enclosed room. Bagpipes are best heard at a distance. (The minimum I’d suggest is 100 yards.)

That said, the composers have done a remarkable job of trying to offend everyone with their creation. They claim that ” fewer than 200 individuals of the world’s total population will enjoy” their music.

So, for our first “Full-on Aural Assault Wednesday” I can think of no better noise than The Most Unwanted Song.

[audio: http://blog.wired.com/music/files/KomarMelamid_The-Most-UnwantedSong.mp3]

You can read more about the demented composers at Wired, or their own website. Alltop is a ferocious banjo, and humor-blogs.com is an angry tuba.

5 Comments

  1. Guess I’m one of the two hundred then. That was funny as hell,
    Ramadan Ramadan, lots of praying without breakfast.

  2. Yes, it has humor value. I just question its musical worth.

  3. I thought I left a comment here. Did it get deleted? I can’t imagine that it was more offensive than the song you subjected us to…

  4. I probably got called off by the sound of a screaming baby before I hit submit, or some such. But I know I typed a comment for this post, as I distinctly recall something about a rapping soprano. (Or was that just a bad dream I had?)

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