Occupation: Professor, Arse-Elbow Differentiation, UBS
Marital Status: Married to the unfortunate Alison Migswith-Piggerton.
Offspring: Daughter, Jenny, 24. And the loathsome Peter, son, 27.
Hobbies: Angling, rat keeping, and touching “things.”
Nationality: English, though he claims to have a little Irish in him. Giggles insanely every time he says so.