Discipline was never an issue at St. Xavier’s School for Wayward Boys and Cane Toads, as it was run by the Eurethran Order of Nuns — known to the world as the Sisters of Perpetual Chastity and Wandplay. Despite the oxymoronic name, they were indeed, an ancient order, founded by St. Pantomime of the Crushed Skulls (who is best remembered for his “missionary” work in the Crusades). Up until the mid-19th century, the Eurethran nuns limited their “Wandplay” to maces, staves and other blunt instruments of crainial trauma, but in 1863 Mother Mary Headcrusher petitioned the Pope to allow the order to use firearms as well. The Sisters of Perpetual Chastity and Wandplay never looked back.
The Bavarian Chapterhouse is pictured here, shortly before they invaded Lower Saxony during their annual “Easter Wandfest” (from left to right): Mother Superior Mary “Deadeye” Catherine, Sister Glenda “Giggles and Shits” Mary, Sister Mary “Deranged Killer” Dymphna, Sister Helen “Fats Blaster” Mary and Patricia Gundersen, gold medallist, novitiate, and just out of prison on parole.
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Nuns with guns.
“Deranged Killer” Dymphna sounds like a lot of fun. Bet she’s great at parties.
One question, though. Exactly how many wayward cane toads did the sisters set straight?
Very few survived the straightening, I imagine.