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With Great Fez Comes Great Responsibility

Iron Dobbin

Long before Giuseppe Del Balso invented cross-dimensional rift surfing, full-frontal time travel, or the pleasures of Zoot, he had many adventures, riding through the Italian countryside on his iron Dobbin.

Though invented to teach children how to ride a horse, the iron Dobbin was not exactly the most comfortable or speedy ride — that is, until the precocious young Giuseppe got his hands on it. Supercharged and enhanced with the electro-fuel that would later start the War of Pasta Memes in the Horse Head Nebula, the iron Dobbin was capable of great speeds. He once rode it from Padua to Otranto in an astonishing three hours and forty minutes. (He lost his trademark fez* in a near collision with Mussolini’s station wagon outside a gelato stand in Brindisi.)

Though greatly enhanced in speed, the genius-child was unable to do anything about the gut-churning gait of the iron Dobbin, nor prevent the jarring motion that cost him several molars, a testicle, and indeed, his sanity.

*the lost hat was later replaced by his trademark SUPERFEZ.

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Alltop lost its sanity years ago. More on the iron Dobbin here.