In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I thought I’d revisit my version of the classic rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other things.
The players both count to five (three), though it is obviously better to repeat the name of the game (Monkey! Robot! Pirate! Ninja! Zombie!). Each time you raise your fist and swing it down. On the fifth (third) count, you form your hand into one of the five gestures. (It is recommended that in addition to the hand gesture, you also add an aural component to this — see below for suggested noises.)
So, what beats what, and what are the gestures? What?
Monkey
Monkey- Monkey fools Ninja
- Monkey unplugs Robot
Suggested noise: ee-ee-eek!
Robot
Robot- Robot chokes Ninja
- Robot crushes Zombie
Suggested noise: ex-ter-min-ate!
Pirate
Pirate- Pirate drowns Robot
- Pirate skewers Monkey
Suggested noise: arrrrr!
Ninja
Ninja- Ninja karate chops Pirate
- Ninja decapitates Zombie
Suggested noise: keeee-ah!
Zombie
Zombie- Zombie eats Pirate
- Zombie savages Monkey
Suggested noise: braaaaaaaaaainsss!
There is a logic to the hand gestures provided, and with any luck they are perfectly obvious. Now, you may be wondering, “Mark, are you totally insane? Are you procrastinating, perchance? Or are you just bored?” The answer is yes.
Update: based on a scientific survey of the comments, Twitter and Facebook updates, “moropinzee” seems to be the easiest name for this game to remember. Someone also had the excellent notion that there could be a full-body dance to celebrate a win.
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MoRoPiNZee?
I really love this concept but I’m afraid there is no way I could ever remember the rules, the hand gestures or the sounds.
It’s like Rock Paper Scissors for Rocket Scientists.
And I’m not good at science.
But I’d love to sit ringside and watch a MoRoPiNZee smack down.
Moropinzee. I like it!
Gotta go with Rock, Paper, Braaains… just to bridge the gap.
Love this but who is the hand model? What a chubby wrinkly hand! Is it a fat 10 year old boy? Worst hand model bitchin cool concept.
this sounds like one of the best things ever.
I want there to an official sports league for this.
Olympics, even.
This is the stuff legends are sewn with.
How about calling it Epic Battle?
And don’t worry cardiogirl, I’m just about to graduate with a degree in Aeronautics and Astronautics, aka Rocket Science, and I still reckon I’m going to forget the rules of this!
Yeah, I really don’t see how we can add werewolves and vampires and make it doable.
And those are the hands of a chubby 40-year-old you punk!
1. I think I just found my new game.
2. hot hand model!
The only problem is that pirates beat ninjas any day.
You could call it “Monkey-Robot-Ninja-Zombie-Pirate.” That way the rules are right there in the name. Everything beats the two things that come after it in the name. Moronizeep for short?
[…] Now, you can find the hand signals for the game here. […]
I laughed so hard at the Dalek reference for the robot. Great game by the way.
Thanks Mike — that reminds me, did you see this: http://markarayner.com/blog/archives/1158?
[…] See my earlier post for the suggested noises to go with the game. […]
Um, didn’t the modern version of RPS end up being Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock?
It’s not immediately apparent to me what the monkey hand sign is supposed to represent, or how people quickly distinguish it from the zombie hand-sign. Maybe if the monkey were gripping a banana? Not very threatening though.
Here’s a video mashup of Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies vs. Robots made from old movies. (Sorry, monkeys. Maybe next time.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA_srVNNh8k
I’m totally digging the monty python references here. On the count of five…
[…] How to Play Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie […]
To be consistant with Rock-Paper-Scissors (rules within name) it should be called:
Monkey-Pirate-Zombie-Ninja-Robot
MoPiZoNiRo
It’s supposed to be the monkey claw, so claw-ish.
Am I the only one that thinks the pirate hand sign should look more like a hook than a gun? when I see a gun, I think western films, not pirates lol.
[…] How to Play Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie […]
[…] Here’s a new version of rock-paper-scissors (monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie). I’m still trying to figure out how to play this, but I got a feeling that once I do, it will kick ass. Still though, I think it would be cool to work in alternatives like extraterrestrial, Sasquatch, bear, or maybe even giant squid… I dunno, just a suggestion. No vampires though! Vampires Suck! …and not in the way they’d like to. Here’s a link. […]
[…] This is so awesome. I so need to teach the kids how to play. […]
Why do none of you (with the exception of a select few) realize that this is just the old game of rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock with different names! Hell, they even stole the t-shirt design completely! Twenty points from Gryffindor! This is an outrage, and the author is an outright plagiarizer.
[…] Come si gioca a Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie (Grazie, Marco!) […]
Rock-Paper-Scissors-Steak-UriGeller:
Rock blunts scissors, tenderises steak.
Paper wraps rock, exposes Uri Geller as a fraud.
Scissors cut paper, cut steak.
Big Steak makes Uri Geller drowsy, makes paper greasy.
Uri Geller bends scissors, throws rock at critics.
Im with Evan, as the illustrious Dr Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) suggested, when Rock, Paper Scissors gets boring or to easy to predict, go for Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.
The benefit being familiar hand signals and the new signs are easily recognized.
[…] Rayner fand das gute alte Papier-Stein-Schere anscheinend zu langweilig und hat seine eigene Version […]
Instead of the lovely quintet (Monkey-Pirate-Zombie-Ninja-Robot) I suggest the Five Chinese Elements: Fire, Earth, Metal, Water, Wood.
What beats what:
Wood feeds Fire;
Fire creates Earth;
Earth bears Metal;
Metal carries Water;
Water nourishes Wood.
(or Wood absorbs Water;
Water rusts Metal;
Metal breaks up Earth;
Earth smothers Fire;
Fire burns Wood. )
Wood parts Earth;
Earth absorbs Water;
Water quenches Fire;
Fire melts Metal;
Metal chops Wood.
The hand signals for the game:
flat hand palm down = Water
flat hand palm up = Fire
fist = Earth
fist with thumb up = Wood
siccors = Metal
[…] Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie!* […]
the monkey and zombie look too similar. Especially with the hand model you are using. I foresee a lot of fist fights coming out of this… which is the ultimate hand to hand competition.
[…] If you are a fan of Rock-Scissors-Paper-Lizard-Spock, try this version. Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie!!! […]
[…] Rayner has created Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie, an updated version of the classic game Rock-Paper-Scissors (aka Rochambeau). The players both […]
[…] game ever (seriously, Sony and Microsoft must be feeling the squeeze). That man is Mark Rayner at The Skwib. Check it out, they have T-Shirts! linkwithin_text='YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:' TAGS: awesome, […]
Only Daleks say “Ex-ter-min-ate.” Geez….
Re: Buksi’s Eastern Elements Redo:
This kind of Zen rendition is hands-down wrong! This is a violent Western game meant to threaten and intimidate with hand smacks and closed fists.
Quenching, absorbing, and nourishing? That’s for wusses! Rock, paper, & scissors players want smashing and cutting. You are trying to turn hand-to-hand combat into a Gandhi-ass game! Go meditate somewhere else.
The ultimate game of rock, paper, siccors with more than just the regular three options:
http://rpg-25.other-games.games1234.net/playgame.aspx
[…] How to Play Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie […]
[…] Για λÏσιμο διαφοÏών Το Ï€ÎÏ„Ïα μολÏβι ψαλίδι χαÏτί σποκ, το ξÎÏετε. Î™Î´Î¿Ï Îνα ακόμα, ίσως και πιο ενδιαφÎÏον: ΜαϊμοÏ, πειÏατής, Ïομπότ, νίνζα, ζόμπι. […]
Seriously? http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/exclusives/b597/?cpg=tw
Way to be original dude. This is just brutal.
So… no one here has heard of thinkgeek then?
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/generic/b597/
I guarantee that one or more of us geeks will memorize the gestures and rules and you’ll see it online during the wait for the next summer blockbuster. It’s silly, it has odd rules, sound effects and obscure film/tv references. Total geek material.
Hey, the ThinkGeek tee is a good design (as most of their t-shirts are) — I just thought the game was kind of lame.
BTW, I’m not sure what happened to the site, but I got the idea, originally, from Swirlee.com.
And I’ve updated the monkey to look more claw-ish, so it can’t be confused with the zombie.
I’m not sure this can beat rock paper scissors lizard spock.
If people didn’t take ideas and make them better we’d still be living in the dark ages. Anything with both pirates and ninjas in it gets my vote. Good work matey.
[…] post foi para o Beto! Versão original, aqui. var a2a_config = a2a_config || {}; a2a_config.linkname="Macaco Pirata Robô Zumbi Ninja"; […]
[…] Mark] AKPC_IDS += […]
[…] Here’s a new twist to the game: http://markarayner.com/blog/archives/1613 […]
[…] so, the Morning Coffee presents to you Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie. […]
[…] Beyond Rochambeau… There are times when Rock-Paper-Scissors just doesn’t have the… well, gravity that one feels is appropriate to the question being decided. Happily, author and blogger Mark Rayner has ridden to the rescue with an altogether apt alternative: Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie… […]
[…] Rochambeau: Here is the new version of rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can … The players both count to five (three), though it is obviously better to repeat the name of the […]
I think I’ll have to keep a little notepad to remind me of all the rules. My vote is the monkey always wins.
[…] Link […]
[…] Full game instructions at Mark’s blog. […]
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[…] to learn how to play Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie? No, seriously, do you? Because here’s the page that shows you how (complete with “suggested noises” for each […]
Saw this in the back of Marvellous Hairy, I have totally got to learn the effects for this. Memorizing this can’t be any harder than solving a Rubik’s Cube! Nothing like adding a bit of dimension to Rock, paper, scissors, classic stuff!
Ninja Does Not Beat Pirate.
Robot > Zombie
Robot > Monkey
Robot < Ninja
Robot < Pirate
Zombie < Robot
Zombie < monkey
*hour later*
Pirate <<>><<<<<>>>>>>> *error, world has exploded. good bye*
VS’ing Pirates and Ninja is like dividing by zero.
How about Samurai and Knights instead ?
@Dan: Actually, Monkey-Robot-Ninja-Zombie-Pirate beats Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock because it’s more original, but Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock beats Rock-Paper-Scissors because it is a proper extension, and Rock-Paper-Scissors beats Monkey-Robot-Ninja-Zombie-Pirate because it is the original.
@Randy: I go for your name, because order does matter. Evan’s order is in keeping with the original, but MoRoNiZeeP is easier to remember.
I’ve been having some success remembering MoPIROninZee. Interesting we all want to start with monkey. It all begins with the monkey…
Maybe to go with the fact that it’s the updated ftw version they should be full-body conclusions. Like you do the dance the robot if you pick robot and the typical monkey dance says you’re monkey. Everybody knows the hungry for brains stance, a million martial arts stances and that just leaves the pirate. For which I’d suggest pulling a fake sword from its sheath with an “arrgh!”
[…] Se quiser ir além disso, pode tentar o Macaco Pirata Robô Zumbi Ninja […]
Me and my brother sing all the names in clock wise.
WTH, Pod Lowe! First of all, It would be 20 points from SLYTHERIN, not GRYFFINDOR, and second, dude, orriginality doesnt exist.
Basically, this is Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.
Already done, just different names.
And much lamer 😉
this is just more “ninja > pirate” propaganda