Re: Softwood lumber (from the "modest proposal" department)

Government of Canada: Memo

From the Desk of:
Jim Peterson, International Trade Minister

To:
Paul Martin, Prime Minister
Irwin Cotler, Justice Minister

CC: The Skwib

Issue:

As you know, the US refuses to honor the legally binding and unanimous decision of the free trade tribunals — a ruling that said US had no right to impose tariffs on the import of Canadian softwood lumber. This is a flagrant disregard for the process of law.

There have been several suggestions that the Government should impose its own tariffs on incoming goods such as orange juice and wine, or slap outgoing tariffs on oil and gas exports from Canada.

The drones at the Ministry here feel that will hurt Canadian consumers, or cause further division between the Government with the Province of Alberta.

However, it is clear that the Government, on behalf of the people of Canada, must retaliate in some way or we will continue to be bullied by our erstwhile “partners” in Free Trade to the South.

Solution:

We propose that Canada move immediately on Operation BC Bud, which is designed to really annoy specific influential decision-makers in Washington.

Operation BC Bud

Phase One: Immediately deny extradition of Marc Emery, as requested by US.

Phase Two: Immediately decriminalize the possession and sale of cannabis in amounts of 30 grams or less.

Phase Three: Presumably Phase One and Two will get the attention of Washington. Once we have accomplished this, it is time to draw up legislation that legalizes the possession, sale and distribution of cannabis.

It is important that the proposed legislation shows the potential tax benefits of sale of “chronic”, “joints”, “blunts”, “doobies”, etc. In addition, there should be tax incentives for companies and individuals currently involved with the softwood lumber industry to become growers and distributors of this new product.

Phase Four: Offer to withdraw this legislation in exchange for the $5 billion of illegal tariffs taken from softwood lumber.

Phase Five: Keep this legislation in play to keep our friends and trade partners honest.

Inspired by:
Trading with the ‘schoolyard bully’